AoC - BETA escapes as retail

[Gilren]

I can honestly say that I was not eagerly anticipating Age of Conan. Funcom seemed to be building a game with a foundation of gore and boobs. The concept was interesting, but seemed more like a novelty than a serious MMO contender. Besides, things with tits are generally only fun for 15-20 minutes at a time.

The good…

Before you begin your life in the barbaric world of Hyboria, you must create your character. I was pleased to see the depth of the character creation system players are privileged to in AoC. Creating characters is one of the most exciting parts of any RPG for me, and Conan doesn’t disappoint. One thing that separates AoC from the typical MMO character creation is the setting. Funcom throws the player into an immersive experience that makes AoC seem like a treat for RP’ers. Instead of standing on a platform in the middle of a racially specific location, you are a slave on a slave ship. If you choose to be a male, you are rowing the ores with the rest of the poor bastards. Should you choose to create a female, you are taken to the back of the boat and are in what appears to be a sort of harem. From here you make the choices that determine who you are in Hyboria. There are 12 classes in AoC, divided into the warrior, rogue, priest and mage archetypes. Unfortunately there are only 3 races to choose from. I tend to prefer a game that gives me more options when it comes to race, but the human only approach fits in with the lore. You do get to customize facial features, body type, colors, markings, and bust size for females (of course). Character creation in AoC is easily one of the best systems available in an MMO to date.

This game is sheer MMO beauty… gory, bloody, naked beauty. If your system allows you to crank up the settings, particularly the 3.0 texture models, this game is breathtaking. Textures like skin, cloth, armor, and terrain give this game a chance to draw the player in and make us feel like we are part of this world. Funcom has done a fantastic job with the artwork of each zone and dungeon. Even the character selection screen is impressive. The best visual aspect of AoC is the facial realism. It’s nice to see vivid detail when zooming in on your character, and it’s even better that we don’t have to look at carbon copy cartoons anymore. If the other aspects of Conan end up as well polished as the visuals, this game will have some staying power.

Another positive (sort of) is what Funcom has done with the tanking and healing classes. Normally, those of us selfless enough to roll a healer or a tank would suffer through level after level of mind-numbing grinding in order to specialize as an anchor for the good of our friends and guild mates. We off-spec, wand, run, and beg our comrades to aid us in our seemingly endless struggle. Well, Funcom said EF THAT! You want to tank? Here is your sword and board, and the ability to pummel the shit out of everything. Enjoy being an indestructible juggernaut that rapes ass! Want to be a healer. Here is some *gasp* nice armor and a spell book crammed with spells that heal AND destroy enemies. Oh, and you’re invincible. On one hand this is great. Tanks and healers are not in short supply like most other games. As a long time healer, I do so enjoy being a badass without sacrificing my ability to heal. However, there are repercussions to this method that I will discuss later.
The bad…

After a few hours in-game, I asked myself, “Did Funcom play this before they shipped it out?” Now I understand how difficult it is to release a finished product when the product is an always changing creation. To that end, I will not discuss the long list of bugs that have ended many gaming sessions in disappointment. These are some of the things that should have been taken care of before release, or before they started programming for that matter.

Numero uno, when I shell out 50 bones to play an MMO and an additional $15 a month, I should get an expansive world that provides a seamless (or an attempt at seamless) experience. Every location in AoC is instanced. Think micro EQII zones. Yes, each zone provides substance in the form of quest locations, but the world doesn’t feel like a world. It feels like a house. Every time I want to see something different I have to walk through a door, actually I have to TALK TO AN NPC to take me to a different zone. C’mon Funcom. That is weak. Even EQ used creative things like gates and caves. Did you run out of brain cells while rendering tits and decapitations? Did you not have anything left for an effing boat! Oh, and every time you join a group be prepared to find a spawn point, because someone is going to be in a different instance. Yep, you have to be near a spawn point to change instances. Barf.

Next, I’d like to point out how anti-climactic boss fights are. No, I’m not referring to the bagillion “boss” monsters that are roaming the world. I am referring to the dungeon bosses. Be sure not to blink while in a dungeon, because you will miss the bosses as your group blows through them like my underpants on taco night. Final bosses are by no stretch of the imagination memorable. They too seem to drop like panties on prom night, not providing much of a challenge. PvE is my favorite aspect of an MMO, particularly grouping and raiding. Dungeons are short and boring. If I want short and boring I would pull my pants down and stand in front of the mirror!

My third complaint is the above mentioned innovation regarding tanks and healers. Now I am a healer, sort of. I created a Priest of Mitra because the class was supposed to be the ultimate healer. I wanted to play a specific role in a group, but it turns out I am a mace wielding, spell slinging, healing cup dispensing (WTF?) badass. Sounds great right? Wrong!!!! There are several problems with the healing and tanking classes. First, they are far to leet and create no need for diversity. A group comprised of one tank and five PoM or ToS (Tempest of Set – Healer) can blow through a dungeon. This kills the point of rolling a dps class, priests can out dps you, crowd control, and heal. Second, PvP balance is impossible if healers and tanks can put out massive dps. Poor backstabbing douche bag assassins can only kill each other (no offense assassins). Dress wearing mages can't destroy anybody with their chi… What has this world come to!? I believe in playing a class because you are drawn to the one thing the class excels at, or you pick a hybrid type because you want to do a little of everything. I never thought I would say this, but pimp smacking everything like I’m Ike Turner is getting old…

The truth…
AoC is good enough for now. I don’t have any confidence that this game will be worth playing for more than a few months. Funcom is patching twice a week, but it seems like they are pissing uphill. There are several players that claim that AoC is for more mature players. I mean, what is more mature than boobies and chopping of headzors? WoW had better PvE content and an attempt at PvP balance. Even though WoW is dead to me, I think many of us will be cursed to compare it with every MMO we play from here on out.

If you decide to give this game a shot, look me up on the Zug server. I’m the Moses looking bastard tearing faces with holy wrath.

[Gilren]

I've seen some images of end game sets. Those look pretty badass. These are from a site called aocupdates.com. Poke around there if you like AoC, the site has a lot of good info.

Conq, ToS, Assassin Sets
Ranger set

[Lloyd]

I had a blast playing this game. Like I said in the show, it was MUCH better than I thought it would be. It's obvious to see that it's incomplete though. I haven't completely written it off. One request from Funcom: GIVE ME BETTER WEAPONS AND ARMOR! THE ITEMS LOOK HORRIBLE!